A 96-year-old woman’s letter to her bank is priceless!

A 96-year-old woman’s note to her bank! Priceless! ??

I just wanted to let you know that I still have a lot of money saved up. I’m sure you’re busy, so I’ll just go ahead and give you my account information. I have $51,000 saved up in my account, and I would be happy to transfer that money to your account. I hope you have a great day. I hope you’re doing well. I just wanted to drop you a quick note to say that I’m still alive and kicking. In fact, I’m 96 years old and I feel like I’m still in good shape.

When you eat food, the food goes into your stomach. The stomach is a big, important part of your body. The stomach helps to digest food. Digestion is the process of breaking down food so that it can be used by your body.

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to ask you to do something for me. I need you to read a book to me. I have found the perfect one and would really appreciate it if you could read it to me. I know it is a lot to ask, but I really appreciate your time and effort.

Thank you for transferring money from my savings account to pay my plumber. I think it took about three nanoseconds for the money to arrive in my account.

You did a great job seizing that chance to save money and also took care of charging me a $30 penalty because of the inconvenience to my bank.

I’m grateful that this incident has made me rethink my way of spending money. I noticed that, while I usually take care of your phone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am met with the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity that your bank has recently become.

From now on, I will only deal with people who are alive and in person. This way, I can be sure that I am getting the best service possible.

My mortgage and loan repayments will now be paid out of my bank account, rather than automatically. I will need to appoint someone at my bank to receive these payments on my behalf.

It is against the law for anyone other than the person who sent the mail to open it.

I need you to fill out an Application Contact Status form so we can keep track of how you’re doing.

I’m sorry it takes so long to write this report, but it’s important to include as much information as possible in order to give you a complete picture of the person.

To get a health care card, your doctor will need to sign your medical history and fill out some financial information. This information must be verified by a notary public and be accompanied by evidence of your income, debts, and assets.

I will give your employee a PIN number to use when talking to me. It can’t be shorter than 28 digits, but I modeled it after the number of button presses it takes me to get my account balance on your phone banking service.

I want to make things as easy as possible for you when you reach out to me. Starting from now on, you’ll have a choice of how you want to talk to me when I answer my phone.

Please press the buttons in the order shown.

To schedule an appointment with me, press 1.

If you don’t have the money to pay for something, you can ask the bank to check for a missing payment.

To transfer the call to my living room, if I am there, press 3.

Press 4 if you want to transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

To transfer a call to your toilet in case you are out in nature, press 5.

If I am not at home, I can transfer the call to my mobile phone.

To leave a message on my computer, you need to have a pass.