8 Reasons Why Women Do Not Like Pleasure As Much As Men

1. We grew up being told to shrink.
Be quiet. Be nice. Be good. Be small. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t laugh too loud. Don’t want too much — of anything. Even fun. Even joy. Especially the kind that lives in your body. And when something’s trained outta you for so long… it doesn’t vanish, it just goes deep underground. Hard to reach.

2. Our minds just won’t shut up.
Like seriously, we’re in the moment and suddenly — am I taking too long? Do I smell weird? Did I lock the front door? What’s that noise downstairs? And boom, the tension goes straight to our shoulders. It’s hard to feel good when your brain won’t stop yelling other stuff.

3. Guilt. So much guilt.
I swear, sometimes there’s this invisible checklist. Women feel like they need to earn pleasure — after dishes, after kids are tucked in, after emails are answered. And by then? We’re exhausted. We settle for just… sleep. Or scrolling until our eyes hurt.

4. The pressure to please.
Not gonna lie, sometimes it’s not about what we feel — it’s about what we’re supposed to give. There’s this weird storyline, like our pleasure only matters if someone else sees it. Or if it performs well. Like it’s not for us, just something we offer. And that… messes with your head after a while.

5. The script never really included us.
Movies, magazines, even books — they made pleasure look a certain way. Like firecrackers and lingerie. But a lot of what’s real doesn’t look like that. Sometimes it’s messy, slow, inconsistent. Sometimes we don’t climax and still feel good. And that’s okay. But nobody told us that growing up.

6. Pain isn’t rare.
And this part, honestly, people don’t always talk about. But discomfort — physical, emotional, medical — shows up more often for women. And when “pleasure” gets wired with pain? Your body remembers. Even when you’re safe, it hesitates. It’s like, wait — are we sure this is okay? This hesitation can create a cycle where past experiences cloud present opportunities for enjoyment and intimacy. Addressing this requires not only empathy but also a deeper understanding of the complexities involved, which includes understanding women’s unspoken needs. By acknowledging and validating these experiences, we can foster a safer environment that encourages exploration and healing. This struggle can also be compounded by external pressures and societal expectations that often dismiss or overlook women’s experiences. As these complexities unfold, they can lead to various emotional responses, including reasons women lose romantic feelings, which may stem from feeling unheard or invalidated in their desires. Creating space for open dialogue and mutual respect is essential for rebuilding trust and deepening connections.

7. Hormones are a wild ride.
Like, truly wild. They shift everything from mood to energy to touch sensitivity. And I know it sounds like an excuse, but it’s not. Sometimes you’re just not there, and you can’t force it. And that’s not broken, that’s biology doing its thing in waves.

8. No one taught us how.
Not in school, not at home. There wasn’t a class on “how to listen to your body” or “how to discover what actually feels good to you.” So we kinda figure it out backwards — through mistakes, shutting down, tuning out. And relearning? That takes time. And unlearning first.

I guess what I’m saying is, it’s not about not liking pleasure.

It’s about all the stuff that gets in the way of claiming it.

And some nights… it just feels like a quiet ache, under all the noise — like our bodies are whispering, hey, I’m still here. When you’re ready.